Championship Parenting
Scott
Ward, Ph.D.
Winning
the Mind Game: Championship Parenting of the Athletic Child by D. Scott Ward, Ph.D. A number of my friends have recently become
mothers and fathers of potentially great athletes. I predict greatness from these just-out-of-the-womb superstars because
of opportunity. Not because their parents are former athletes who themselves had great success in college and professional
sports, but because every parent has the opportunity to help their child succeed. All kids, if interested in athletics, should
get the best of parental support. Championship parenting of the athletic child takes a lot of effort, but it's all worth it
when great athletes boast that their parents played a key roll in their success. There is no question in my mind that parents
of young athletes want the best for their children. The following is a TOP-FIVE list for Championship Parenting of the Athletic
Child.
1)
Make sure that your children know that - win
or lose - you love them, appreciate the efforts and are never disappointed. This will allow them to do their best and avoid
developing a fear of failure based on the dread of disapproval and family disappointment. Be the person in their life that
can be looked upon for constant positive reinforcement.
2)
Try your best to be completely honest with
yourself about your children's athletic capability, competitive attitude, sportsmanship and actual skill level. Good communication
with your children will help you know if they want to be more competitive in a specific sport. Ask your children if they want
to go to a summer camp, (basketball, football, tennis, etc.), don't force them.
3)
Be helpful but don't "coach" on the way to
the track, diamond, field or court ... on the way back ... at breakfast ... and so on. Sure it's tough not to, but it's a
lot tougher for children to be inundated with advice, pep talks and often critical instruction.
4)
Try not to re-live your athletic life through
your children. There are enough pressures on your children as it is. Try not to add any because of your pride. Many very good
young athletes stop participating in sports because of the unpleasantness of the home after a competition. Athletic children
need their parents, so you must not withdraw. If your young athletes are comfortable with you - win or lose - they are on
their way to maximal achievement and enjoyment - and you will get your kicks too!
5) Don't compete with the coach. The young athlete often comes home and chatters on about "coach says this, coach says that." This is often hard to take, especially
for the mother or father who has had some sports experience.
When a certain degree of disenchantment about a coach sets in, some parents side with the youngster and are happy to
see the coach shot down. This is a mistake. It should provide a chance to discuss (not lecture) with the youngster the importance
of learning how to handle problems, react to criticism and understand the necessity for discipline, rules and regulations.
Parenting a young athlete is quite difficult and takes a lot of effort to be done well. The practices, competitions, traveling
and expenses take time, energy and money. This alone should inspire parents to do the right thing with their young athletes.
Give your child the opportunity to be successful. Teach them to enjoy the thrill of competition, to be out there trying, working
to improve skills and attitudes, taking the physical bumps and coming back for more. Don't say "winning doesn't matter" because
it does. Instead, help develop the feel for competing, trying hard, and having fun.
